Pushing figures around

Carrots in a Stew.

Once again, we returned to the mean streets of Sector 4, home of Perry Pipkin, Grand Master of The Order of the Carrot.

In a city of 400 million, there are more than enough bored citizens just looking for excitement.  The chance to do something with their worthless and pitiful lives.  Just waiting for the chance to be a part of something and feel important.

For those in Sector 4, there is recruitment into The Order of the Carrot.

It was a good quick fun game.  For this we decided that any vehicle that rolled were considered to be out of action.  The rules do allow for you to re-right rolled cars and in future hopefully will also include rules for crews to run around on foot.

I am already considering having a house rule for smoke dispensers as an alternative type of passive weapon.  If nothing else, it will add an extra element of ‘Scenery’ to the table to have smoke clouds around.

Thanks for reading and roll on the next race.

Emerging from the heat shimmer they come in a roar of sound and fury, the nomad brigands and road pilots. Chrome, dust, and rust in your rear-view mirror are the first harbingers of impending doom. Then the incessant chatter of twin Vickers fills your ears, and your automobile begins to disintegrate around you.

It’s the Dirty Thirties and racing just got a whole lot more dangerous.

For this race we decided to have it based in Outback Australia.  Cars were built to a value of $800 and we decided that we would not use any passive style weapons (oils, caltrops etc)

We decided upon scenario 2 Death Race.   In this scenario the cars have to race around four checkpoints in a specific order.  Each checkpoint is positioned near one corner of the table and can be negotiated in either direction, as long as each is done in order.

The winner would either be the first car to exit the table by the short edge opposite the starting line after having passed each checkpoint, or the last car standing in the case of vehicles being immobilised.

Fiona Fuelstop 

in her pink love bug #5.

Equipped with Twin Machine Guns in a fixed forward position.

Fiona has expert Driver Skill, this combined with her car being the fasted in the race should enable her to take an early lead.  The question is, with weaker armour than the rest will she be able to go the distance.

Baron Munchausen

in the Mean Machine #2.  This beast of a car comes with Additional Armour to both sides, an Armoured Engine and Armoured Crew Compartment.  With its Twin Linked Machine Guns in a fixed forward arc this could be a good bet to take the trophy, providing the Barons basic driving and gunnery skills can keep up with the others.

Rosie and Jim

in the Blue Marloo #9.  This car just bristles with firepower.  Twin Linked Machine Guns in a rear facing Swing Mount should deter any would-be tail gaiters whilst a fixed forward firing Machine Gun can help clear a path to victory.

Peter Perfect

in his Turbo Terrific #57.  Peter a long-time fan favourite has improved Driving and Gunnery Skills, all the better for getting that fixed forward firing Light Cannon to make its mark.  An Armoured Engine should help as Peter just loves to go ‘Fanging it’.

Civilians – Vigilantes

The citizens are shown to be a mixed bag. 98% are unemployed (due to advances in robotics) and range from lazy and sloth-like to highly rebellious violent criminals, bent on destroying and killing as much as they can for whatever reason they can think of at that time, if any. Most of the Judges seem to view them like a well-loved dim cat, stupid, greedy but with an unseen value that’s worth protecting with everything they have. Although at times they’ve shown a huge lack of empathy towards them, such as when Chief Judge Francisco asked them if a large number that were on welfare could commit suicide in his Christmas message to help balance the budget for the following year.  Some Judges openly view them as a nuisance to be removed, or like Judge Manners, as a sub-human race to be used and abused as the Judges see fit.

The citizens occupy their time with many strange and outright bizarre hobbies, such as simping (recreational stupidity), bat gliding, sky surfing and peeping (spying on people at home and in public), which is illegal when done for sexual purposes, but legal when done under the authority of a Judge. If any of these ever get out of hand, and there is no legal justification for banning, the Judges simply impose a heavy tax on them, restricting them to only the few very wealthy citizens.

Most are poorly educated, and many can barely read or write, some sectors are said to be entirely illiterate, but Judges aren’t that concerned, as it makes it easier for them to control and they can weed out the more intelligent simply when major crimes occur.  Those that can read though are not much better, for example, when a book that detailed how to commit suicide was released, thousands of previously non suicidal citizens (including the book’s author) killed themselves since they had read how to do it in the book.  At one point in some of the more dangerous blocks, the Judges took to putting sedative drugs into the air systems to help keep the citizens more docile and easier to control.

Some though do show huge promise, intelligence, and have extremely useful skills, many top scientists and engineers are not Judges. Most of the city’s biggest advancements in areas such as food, new materials, non-weapon or military technology, medicine and architecture and construction design (including the Halls of Justice) came from ordinary citizens. All the major businesses and entertainment (apart from Justice Department propaganda channels) figures are citizens as are a lot of the city’s diplomats, but they always report to a Judge before making any decisions. But not all valued skills are the same as the real-world ones, examples of this are human taxidermy and professional gluttony. Most of the highly intelligent citizens end up in crime such as PJ Maybe, and Nero Narcos, as they are very limited in the wealth or power they can attain (the amount of real power a citizen can gain though is very limited) legally.

A Brief History

The late 17th and early 18th centuries are often considered the “Golden Age of Piracy” in the Caribbean, and pirate ports experienced rapid growth.

The military power of the Spanish Empire in the New World started to decline when King Philip IV of Spain was succeeded by King Charles II.

While Spanish America in the late 17th century had little military protection as Spain entered a phase of decline as a Great Power, it also suffered less from the Spanish Crown’s mercantilist policies with its economy. This lack of interference, combined with a surge in output from the silver mines due to increased availability of slave labour began a resurgence in the fortunes of Spanish America.

England, France, and the Dutch Netherlands had all become New World colonial powerhouses in their own right.

Worried by the Dutch Republic’s intense commercial success since the signing of the Treaty of Westphalia, England launched a trade war with the Dutch. The English Parliament passed the first of its own mercantilist Navigation Acts and the Staple Act that required that English colonial goods be carried only in English ships and legislated limits on trade between the English colonies and foreigners. These laws were aimed at ruining the Dutch merchants whose livelihoods depended on free trade. This trade war would lead to three outright Anglo-Dutch Wars over the course of the next twenty-five years.

Meanwhile, King Louis of France had finally assumed his majority with the death of his regent mother Queen Anne of Austria’s chief minister, Cardinal Mazarin, in 1661. The “Sun King’s” aggressive foreign policy was aimed at expanding France’s eastern border with the Holy Roman Empire and led to constant warfare against shifting alliances that included England, the Dutch Republic, the various German states and Spain. In short, Europe was consumed in the final decades of the 17th century by nearly constant dynastic intrigue and warfare, an opportune time for pirates and privateers to engage in their bloody trade.

In the Caribbean, this political environment created many new threats for colonial governors. The sugar island of Sint Eustatius changed ownership ten times between 1664 and 1674 as the English and Dutch duelled for supremacy there.

Consumed with the various wars in Europe, the mother countries provided few military reinforcements to their colonies, so the governors of the Caribbean increasingly made use of buccaneers as mercenaries and privateers to protect their territories or carry the fight to their country’s enemies. Perhaps unsurprisingly, these undisciplined and greedy dogs of war often proved difficult for their sponsors to control.

By the late 17th century, the great Spanish towns of the Caribbean had begun to prosper, and Spain also began to make a slow, fitful recovery, but remained poorly defended militarily because of Spain’s problems and so were sometimes easy prey for pirates and privateers. The English presence continued to expand in the Caribbean as England itself was rising toward great power status in Europe. Captured from Spain in 1655, the island of Jamaica had been taken over by England and its chief settlement of Port Royal had become a new English buccaneer haven in the midst of the Spanish Empire. Jamaica was slowly transformed, along with Saint Kitts, into the heart of the English presence in the Caribbean.

At the same time the French Lesser Antilles colonies of Guadeloupe and Martinique remained the main centres of French power in the Caribbean, as well as among the richest French possessions because of their increasingly profitable sugar plantations. The French also maintained privateering strongholds around western Hispaniola, at their traditional pirate port of Tortuga, and their Hispaniola capital of Petit-Goave.

This is only the second game I have ever played of Blood and Plunder, my first game being a few years ago now, it was also my opponents first game, so I decided to keep things relatively simple.  Not only would I need to remember the rules, but I would also need to teach them as I went along.

To learn the rules, I adopted my usual tactic of playing learn to play videos on YouTube when going to bed, and falling asleep 5 minutes into them, and then letting my wife explain to me what I missed the following day after she was kept awake half the night.

This little Battle would pitch a band of Dutch Privateers attacking a French Caribbean Militia as it defended its small settlement.

The Dutch have made shore some distance from the settlement and advanced upon it on foot.  The French have only just been warned of the imminent attack and have ushered all the civilians into the church for safety.

The Forces

French Militia

1 x Untested French Militia Commander

8 x Trained Milices des Caraibes

5 x Trained Milices des Caraibes

8 x Inexperienced Miliciens

4 x Trained Marins

Dutch Privateers

1 x Untested Dutch Sea Commander

4 x Trained Zeelieden

8 x Trained Kapers

4 x Veteran Entr Ploeg

8 x Inexperienced Militie

The French deployment was in the table quarter containing the church, the Dutch could enter from any other table edge.  (The raid scenario from the Blood and Plunder rule book)

The objective for the Dutch was to get a unit into the Church and then spend one whole turn in the church, ransacking it and the like.  The French objective was to stop that from happening.

Unfortunately, the French were no match for the vicious Dutch who managed, despite losing two whole units, corner the French commander and put a swift end to his defiance.

With the French commander gone, the Milita took to their heels leaving the church and all those inside it at the hands of the invaders.

The Congo River and mysterious jungle that surrounds it still has as many secrets to reveal!

Mr Rossignol, well known to our regular readers, and who has just returned from the Dark Continent, reports the story of a lost tribe that worships what might be the largest ape ever seen.

This story would have remained a legend if the famous explorer had not sworn to have crossed the path of the beast during his journey.

being both well known, and a proper gentleman, his word was not doubted by the authorities of the Kembele trading post.  They sent a scientific expedition to capture and bring back the beast.  If it exists…

The Worshipers

Pygmy King

Witchdoctor

5 x Pygmy warriors

2×3 Pygmy Archers

5 x Young Warriors

5 x Young Warriors

6 x Archers

Kong, the Giant Ape

The Hunters

Explorer

Reporter

Bearer

4 x Soldiers

4 x Trained Askaris

4 x Trained Askaris

3 x Adventurers

5 x Askaris

5 x Askaris

3 x Scouts

In this scenario the Hunters are trying to capture Kong.  To do this the Hunters must take his last life point in melee combat.  If Kong loses his last life point for any other reason, he dies.

The Hunters will win automatically if they capture Kong, they will also gain 1 victory point for each life lost by Kong.

The worshipers will automatically win if Kong is killed.  (His spirit will reside in the forest forever) They will also gain 3 victory points for each enemy group eliminated.

A sprawling conurbation had sprung up in the 2020’s, stretching from New York City to Washington and growing. Crime had skyrocketed in the overcrowded sprawl, leading to the roll-out of the Judges in 2031. The American government would turn this into Mega-City One: the first Mega-City. The perceived success of MC-1 would lead to the construction of Mega-City Two and Texas City. The population continued to grow as people moved to the city.

Justice Department would split into three autonomous branches, with one covering Mega-City One, and in 2052 the city was given sweeping powers under the Autonomy Act. Now, only foreign affairs and the military were outside of the city’s remit. It flexed its muscles in 2055 when it imposed harsh immigration laws on American citizens that wanted to move to the city.

The problems with housing, infrastructure, and crime only became worse after the Atomic Wars. Mega-City One was spared total destruction due to experimental laser defence screens but most of the rest of America was in ruins. The Judges took control of the city, citing the Declaration of Independence to turf out President Robert L. Booth to public approval.

Millions streamed into the city, and it ramped up its immigration laws: mutants were forced out under the genetic apartheid laws. Mega-City One was going it alone.

The 2070’s saw harsh rationing and drinking water had to be checked for radiation.
Mega-City One had more fully covered by 2080 and tried flexing its foreign policy muscles. An attempt to secure Texas City’s resources led to war between MC-1 & MC-2 and their southern neighbour, ending in a truce by 2086; to improve relations, Luna City One was constructed by the “United Cities of North America” in 2088. More successful, Mega-City One installed a friendly Judge regime in war-torn Brit-Cit and was able to dominate the surviving European Union and resulting Euro-City into following its lead.

Mega-City scientists were able to engineer apes (or “uplifts”) to be human-level intelligent. Having achieved this, humans promptly stuffed them in the Apetown ghetto and ignored them until they began forming crime syndicates.

By the 2090’s, robot slave labour meant that most of the city was on welfare instead of having to work. People were often desperate to have work and extreme crazes sprung up to deal with boredom, starting with the laz-knife craze in 2089.  The Judges, however, believed that the citizens would balk at having to work more than ten hours a week.
A decadent youth culture arose around drugs, the pinstripe sound, and illegal comics.

Mega-City One had grown to the height of its size and power, with 800 million inhabitants and stretching down the east coast to Miami & east to annex Canada’s Quebec City-Windsor Corridor.

In 2095, Chief Judge Clarence Goodman announces a policy of mass interstellar colonisation to give Mega-City One the resources it needed. This would bring the city great wealth over time but also embroil it in constant wars against alien empires, indigenous alien races fighting conquest, and insurgents on the colonies. The Space Corps constantly saw action.

Another regime change took place in 2100 when the insane Cal, head of the Special Judicial Service, assassinated Chief Judge Goodman and seized control. Only a few Judges had escaped his brainwashing program and under Dredd, they formed a dedicated rebel force that eventually brought him down. Chief Judge Griffin and a new Council of Five took control. A sharp increase in the cold war with the Sov Block began under Griffin, as East Meg One began to test the city for weaknesses.

The brutal Apocalypse War with East Meg One saw the population slashed by half, the entire south destroyed, all but one of the Council killed, and all of the north-west and upper north lost except for a small Northwest Hab Zone. The city had to renumber its surviving sectors to make sense of the new setup.  (The isolated Hab Zone would descend into crime and corruption and become known as “the Pit”) A few years of hardship – starvation, disease, homelessness, and the segregation of fatties – was endured before the city was able to recover.

A democracy revival movement had grown in strength in the mid-2100’s and by 2109, tens of millions were peacefully demanding a return to an elected government. Chief Judge Silver called this “the greatest threat to the city since the Apocalypse War” and authorised a horde of dirty tricks to stop and discredit the movement.

From 2104 to 2133, the city’s population remained roughly at 400 million. Part of the reason for this was recurring emergencies that could kill millions of citizens: the Dark Judge takeover of “Necropolis” in 2112, the zombie invasion “Judgement Day” of 2114, the meat virus in 2115, “The Doomsday Scenario” robot war in 2121, and the nuclear bombings of Total War in 2126. Sixty million citizens died in Necropolis and the population was counted as 350 million the year after, but this swiftly climbed back to 400m.

The twin hits of Necropolis and Judgement Day in two years left the city weakened.  The Judges were weak for several years and its space policy shaky. It recovered and, during the early 2110’s, entered a short period of glasnost with the Sov Block. The Justice Department briefly fell into chaos as Chief Judge Hilda McGruder suffered from increased dementia, with no legal way to remove her.

So, it’s about here that our little campaign is set.

An unfortunate side-effect of the technological advances that have been made is soaring unemployment, which has led to extreme boredom, crime, and general disgruntlement and despair. The citizens have invented a wide variety of pastimes, both good and bad. Some of the big ones include the fatties who overeat to fill their time, which turned competitive eating into a sport; the ugly craze, where people deliberately try to look like hideous freaks; and simps, who try to look and act as bizarre as possible (no mean trick in Mega-City One).

“Crazes” also regularly and briefly sweep the city, often changing by the day. Crazes known to have swept the city in the past have included Synchronized Leaping, PowerBoarding, and Boinging. These are often disruptive and dangerous but are also necessary to distract the citizens from the boredom and horrors of Mega-City One – in the case of atrocities like Necropolis, necessary so people can bury the mental scars.

Transportation systems exist in Mega-City One that accommodate every way of travel, from pedestrian to public transit to hover vehicles. Baffling though these different systems may be, each is surprisingly efficient a vast majority of the time, typically becoming troubled only during large-scale emergencies.

A side effect of the intensity of megacity life is Future Shock Syndrome, or “futsie”, where a stressed citizen will experience something that causes their mind to finally snap: reality seems too absurd to exist. The first case was Michael Kerrigan in 2089 after he saw a las-knife.

Once dead, all citizens become the property of the city. It’s possible to be buried but this is an expensive process: it costs a 950 credit release fee just to get the corpse back.  Most citizens will be sent to Resyk and turned into a variety of useful products (some available from Resyk’s giftshop).

Mega-City citizens are often very, very stupid.

Life in the Big City

Our little campaign set in the amazing world of 2000AD is based in and around Mega City One.

I have always been a fan of the 2000AD comics and of course Judge Dredd.  When Mongoose publishing launched its kickstarter campaign for 28mm metal figures I was of course duty bound to jump on board.  In fairness the kickstarter took a very very long time to deliver and Mongoose Publishing no longer hold the licence to produce models for the range.  That role was taken over by Warlord Games.

I think one of the best parts of the Judge Dredd setting is that you can pretty much use anything you want.  Want to field a Dinasaur, no problem, want WW1 Germans attacking Mega City One.  Why not.  With so many crazy cults and fads going on in this massive city nothing would seem out of place.

I also really like that you can use lots of nice bright colours.  I like the comic book feel on the figures and it suits my preferred painting style.

Finally, I can use the same terrain as I use for Infinity for street fighting or can use desert ruins for fighting in the harsh cursed earth.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings and onto some action.

A Day in the Life of a Mega City Judge

Somewhere in a quieter part of Sector 4 a small gathering of orange robe wearing figures start to assemble.  By day, normal everyday citizens of Mega City One, but as the day turns slowly into night these strange figures are anything but normal.

You see, Perry Pipkin, is the Grand Warlock of the Order of the Carrot.

Bored with day-to-day life Perry has embarked on a dark and dangerous path.  With a few simple-minded accomplices, Perry intents to summon forth the power of a ferocious beast from a dark dimesion.  A creature so foul and powerful that he will bind to his will to wreak havoc upon those that have shunned him throughout his life.  Mwahahahahaha!

Judge Allen is conducting routine traffic patrols and spots a sky surfer breaching a speed limit.  Unbeknown to Allen that just around the corner a huge beast of immense power is about to be drawn into this dimension.

It turns out that our hapless Mr Pipkin is not quite the Grand Warlock he has led the rest of the Cabal to believe he is.  Rather than a mighty Demon a small, irritated Imp is summoned.  “erm, well, the greater demon is currently busy doing horrible things elsewhere.” Perry tells his followers.

In a bid to get away from the pursuing Judge our lone Skysurfer decides to go contraflow to traffic.  This simple traffic breach draws our unsuspecting Judge ever closer to the Order of the Carrot Cabal.Seeing one of MC-1’s finest so close, one of the Cabal loses his nerve and lets loose a shot at Judge Allen.  The shot bounces harmlessly off his trusty Lawmaster but draws Allen’s attention to the pedestrian area above him.

With a simple voice command, he orders his bike to continue the pursuit of the surfer whilst he dismounts to face this new threat.

In a state of panic the Cabal attempts to circle Allen.  Surely one man is no match for so many armed crazies, not to mention one rather short and irritated imp.

From above the street one of the Cabal gets a good vantage point to use his laser rifle.

Barking his orders to surrender, Judge Allen informs the Cabal that they are all under arrest for attempted murder of a Judge, unlawful gathering, discharging a firearm without a permit and summoning an entity from a third dimension.  There are probably many other charges to be had but our hero is interrupted as he is assaulted by three members of the Order of the Carrot.

Having slightly more common sense than the rest of the Cabal, Perry decides that it’s better to flee whilst the Judge is tied up.

Laying down the hurt with the full force of the law, backed up by a few well-placed nightstick smacks, Judge Allen easily subdues the armed Cabal members.  One armed with a chainsaw puts up a bit of a fight but is no match for the well-trained Judge.

The remaining members of the Order of the Carrot make a dash for freedom.  Their hasty retreat covered by one angry imp gnawing on the Judges boot.

It won’t take long for Perry to recruit more followers.  With such a massive city filled with bored and depressed civilians just waiting for a little excitement the Cabal will be back up to full strength in no time.

With the Order of the Carrot now on the Judges radar there will no doubt be more engagements as Perry Pipkin attempts to unleash hell on earth, but for now Judge Allen must turn his attention to a protesting mob of fatties.  Angry at food shortages in sector 4.

Just another day on the beat.