Murder Hobo Squad: A Lost Mine of Phandelver/Dragon of Icespire Peak & Beyond D&D 5E record (Beware Spoilers!)

(DM: The Gnomengarde quest was to head to this Gnome settlement and ask if they have any inventions or magical items that might help deal with a dragon.  The characters should be expecting a town encounter)

Late in the afternoon the party found themselves following a stream uphill to the base of the mountain, where waterfall erosion had carved out a natural concavity. The roaring waterfall created a cloud of mist as it plunged loudly into a shallow pool of water, within which rose two small islands covered with two-foot-tall red, green, and purple mushrooms. Several cave openings overlooked the pool from rocky ledges twenty to thirty feet above. The mountain blocked any sunlight from reaching this place.  As the approached, they called out but got no response.  The sound of the waterfall was loud enough to drown muffle their call, forcing them to shout to be heard when talking to each other.  Of the five visible entrances only one was accessible from ground level, and that was on the other side of the 10 foot wide stream, which had no bridge at ground level.  They spent some time discussing whether to climb up to an entrance on this side, or cross the stream.  Karson got bored and jumped over and the others decided to follow.  Everyone was able to make the jump except for Talindra, who bundled up her possessions and threw them over and then waded through the 3-4 feet deep stream.

As they walk down the entrance corridor, calling out as they go, they see it branch off in three places.  At the end they hear a series of started gnomish yelps from their right.  They turn to see a female gnome sat in a chair above a complicated machine built out of many gears and chains and four giant crossbows.  As the gnome starts pulling on levers the machine comes noisily to life.  As the machine draws aim on the party, Devere shouts out, “We mean you no harm.  We are not here to fight”.  The machine lines up on Devere and she raised her hand ready to slam it down what is likely the fire button and she looks him in the eye and pauses.

Gnome: “Who are you?  What do you want?  Are you the thing?”

Devere: “The thing?  What thing?”

Gnome: “The weird thing.  The thing that attacked me.”

D: “No that’s not us.  We just got here.”

G: “How do I know you’re not a monster?”

Talindra: “Well, we’re not attacking you, so wouldn’t a monster attack you?”

D: We’ll sheathe our weapons and come out with our hands up.  Please don’t shoot us.  We come in peace”

G: “Go on then.  You come out in the open, but you keep your distance.  Prove to me you’re not the thing. That you are who you say you are.  What you say you are.  So what are you” The rest of the group them stepped out in to sight.

Melandrach: “I am an Elf”

D: “I am an Aasimar”

G: “Can you prove it?”

D: “What?”  He thought for a moment, and then his eyes light up with golden light and a pair of incorporeal radiant wings grew out behind him

G: “Oh wow.  That’s… That’s… That’s certainly something.  Erm…”  She manages to say, while looking visibly stunned.

D: “So you see we are not… So what is this thing that’s been attacking you?”

She went on to relay a story about how she had been working on her machine and a part of it came to life, grew weird tentacle things, and tried to attack her.  She was able to chase it off, but she’s been on edge ever since, jumping at shadows.  She told them that their mad king had also been telling stories about being attacked by a carpet.  No one had really believed him, but now she thinks he might be right.  The king has since locked himself in his chamber with his husband and won’t come out.  The party offered to help with this problem and asked her name. Facktoré relaxed a little and allowed them to pass.  Having said she saw the thing head south, that’s where the party headed.  The kings chamber was also revealed to be on the other side of the river (Talindra started giving the group a dead stare when this came up), accessible via bridge to the south.  They were advised to seek out the chief engineers Flibblestib and Dabbledob to see how they could help out.

As they headed south the encountered two gnome guards in a raised alcove who demanded the party prove they weren’t shapeshifters.  Ramond introduced them as friends of Facktoré.  Talindra wasn’t sure how they prove a negative.  Devere suggested he could prove it by not shapeshifting?  Talindra explained why they had come.  Devere asked f they were Flibblestib and Dabbledob, but the guards introduced themselves and Pog and Ulla.  Devere asked how they could prove they weren’t shapeshifters.  Ulla suggested they prove they are who they say they are.  The party talked amongst themselves about this briefly.  Talindra asked what a shapeshifter wouldn’t be able to do.  Gesturing towards Talindra, Karson said, “You would think they’d pick forms that wouldn’t fall in the river, unlike my friend here who is wet.”  Devere chuckled.  Talindra apologised for dripping water everywhere.  Pog spoke up, “You fell in the river?  Well I suppose if I could shape shift I’d pick something that could fly over the river, or float in it.  I wouldn’t just fall in it.”  They lowered their weapons.  The party asked for more information about the shapeshifter, and got the kings story relayed to them again.  Ulla and Pog seemed less convinced that it was real.  They gestured the party to move along, but kept one eye on them.

They moved across a rickety rope bridge and found the entrance chamber filled with floor to ceiling spinning bladed.  Araloth took on the impossible mission of ducking and weaving through the room to reach the off switch on the other side, taking minimal damage on his way.  They turned the blades back on when they were all through.  They followed the corridor around and entered in to what appeared to be a tinkerers workshop containing two gnomes mid debate.

“I still tell you, the solution to this is a sanity ray.  We need to invent a sanity ray.  That will help.”

“We don’t know how to do that.  The simple solution for now is to invent a strait jacket.  We build a strait jacket he’ll be contained and we can help him.”

Talindra interrupted them with a loud and jovial “Hello there!”  The party was invited in and the gnomes enquired who they are and what they are up to.  Talindra explained their quest and offered the groups assistance.  These gnomes dismissed the talk of shapeshifters as the king’s madness, but Thorovir told them of Facktoré’s encounter to show it’s not just the king that’s seen this thing.  The gnomes debated the possibility that the madness was contagious, which just increased the urgency of inventing a sanity ray to protect the town.   Thorvir tried to argue that they don’t know for sure that this is madness and that they needed to also prepare for the possibility that there is a monster.  The gnome pointed out that between someone not thinking clearly and carpets coming to life and attacking people that the carpet story is far less likely.  He told them about a gnome he used to know called Occam who always used to say that the simplest solution is usually the right one.  They’d never seen a shape shifter in all their years here so it wasn’t very likely.  Karson said they’d fought a Manticore in the morning and there hadn’t been one around before and now there’s a lot of talk about dragons, so why not a shape shifter.  One of the two said they didn’t know anything about a Manticore, but a dragon attacked here a few days ago.  It just swopped down and froze poor shmebulock with its breath, and carried him away.  Melandrach caused a little panic by suggesting it might be a shapeshifting dragon.  Talindra asked about speaking to the king, and they said she’s welcome to try.  Perhaps she can get him to open the door.  King Korboz has his husband, King Gnerkli held prisoner in there and no one’s been allowed in to check on him for a while now.

They headed along the corridor towards the kings’ chambers and Talindra knocked on the door.

“Go away”!

Talindra: “Is that the king?” Knock knock knock

Korboz: “Yeah.  What are you?”

T: “We’re adventurers here from Phandalin.  We’re here to help”

Devere: “Are you ok?”

K: “You’re the monster, aren’t you?  Go away”

T: “Did the monster try and talk to you before?”

K: “It was disguised as a carpet and carpets can’t talk. Don’t be stupid.  That’s madness”

T: “Well, do you think there would be 8 of us?  It seems unlikely the monster would come back as 8 separate people and then want to try and talk to you.  We just want to try and help.”

K: “You say there’s 8 of you.  All I can see is a door.”

T: “Well I know.  That’s because you won’t open the door”

K: “ That’s because I’m not letting you, the monster, in to come and eat me.  I’m not an idiot.”

T: “I’m not asking you to.  Just tell us where the monster was, where it went to and we can put an end to the terror it us wracking upon your people.”

K: “Well if you are really 8 brave adventurers come to end the terror, go and end it.  It was in the throne room and fled out the door as I ran away.

T: “Where is the throne room?”

K: “Over there” he says pointing from the other side of a locked door.

Ramond: “We can’t see wherever you’re gesturing, please”

K: “Oh yeah yeah yeah.  It’s a chamber just west of here”

Devere: “We’ll be back.  We’ll take care of this”

T: “Is your husband OK?”

The distant voice of King Gnerkli can he heard from the background, “I’m OK.  He’s just not thinking too clearly.  We’ve been here for a good few days now.  If you can calm him down and get us some food that’d be nice.”

T: “Okay, we’ll try”

Karson stepped forward and put a handful of Goodberries under the door for them to eat.  King Korboz screamed out and started stamping on the evil shapeshifting berry monsters coming to get him.

Karson: “Ah well.  I tried”

Korboz: “You can’t fool me!  Get out of here, you shape shifting monsters!”

Karson: “Don’t go anywhere.  We’ll be back”

As the party headed back down the corridor they said a sanity ray was sounding pretty good right now, but it wouldn’t get through a door.  What they needed was a sanity gas.

When they got to the throne room Araloth tested the carpet with his sword.  It did not react.  Devere took 10 minutes to ritually cast Detect Magic.  While he was casting Talindra searched the room and found a secret door behind the thrones.  She opened it and revealed a short corridor with another door at the end.  Ramond, Araloth and Talindra went to this door and Talindra opened it in to the kings’ bedchambers, containing Korboz, and Gnerkli, currently restrained to a chair without the use of ropes.  Talindra said hello, and King Korboz yelped, “Ah!  Get out!  Leave me alone!” and started backing away from the obvious threat.  Talindra offered them some food.

K: “I don’t want none of your trick.  You’re the one from the other side of the door, aren’t you?”

T: “I am indeed.  I didn’t realise this door came this way.  Sorry.”

K: ”Leave us alone.  We’re just trying to survive.  We don’t want to be eaten by you.”

T: “That’s entirely fair.  I’m just asking if you want some food or water.  I can leave you some rations and water right here and then I’ll go away.”

Gnerkli: “He means no harm.  He’s just trying to keep me safe.  Please leave some food and water.  I’ll get him to have some”

Talindra left some supplies by the door and closed it behind him and left.  As she retreated Korboz picked up a chair and chased her out of the room, while clearly staying as far away from her as he could.  They could hear the sound of the door being barricaded from the other side of the door after they left.

After waiting a few minutes for Devere’s spell to complete, he revealed that nothing in the room was showing up as magical.

Devere: “What?  What are you all looking at me like that for?”

Thorovir: “Why is your skin blue?”

Devere raised his now vibrant blue hands in front of him to look at them.  “Oh my god.  What the…?  Well, this hasn’t happened before (DM: Smurf jokes were made involving illusion spells, but let’s just assume that was all OOC as I don’t think Forgotten Realms has Smurfs)

Thorvir drew his bow and pointed it in the general direction of Devere.  “If there’s a shapeshifter around and this is new, why should we be trusting that you are you?”

Talindra: “Because he’s just stood there and cast a spell for the last 10 minutes”.  The party took a few minutes to work out if Devere had ever been left alone at any point and decided that no one had ever been alone since they arrived.  They also went through the day’s events looking at anything magical they had done or encountered

Melandrach: “Why are you blue?”

Devere: “That’s a very good question.  I have no idea.  OK guys something is very odd here.”  After further discussion and debate, Devere asked Talindra if this was an illusion she had cast on the sly.  Talindra denied it, saying her illusions are fixed in space and the blue moves with Devere.  Devere said they should all move along, but he would be reluctant to cast any more spells any time soon.  The group agreed to proceed and headed to a nearby chamber to the immediate south.

Bilba checked at the door and thought she could hear some ticking from the other side, but the door was locked.  They decided to go and speak to the engineers in the workshop about a key.  Talindra and Araloth went back and asked what was through the door, interrupting a deep conversation about the very nature of sanity.  They were told the room is their treasury.  It holds all their great inventions.  They agreed to let them in to search for monsters and Dabbledob went over and unlocked the door for them and stepped back.  Talindra advised them that the solution to defining and measuring sanity would be questionnaires.  They are always the answer.  Dabbledob loved this and started talking about conducting a large survey.  The whole group went off on one and invented the science of Psychology.  Melandrach asked if they could work on a sanity gas instead of a sanity ray.  Dabbledob insisted sanity gas was nonsense.  A sanity ray is reasonable.  Sanity gas is implausible madness.

Bilba opened the door and revealed a scene from the Engineers special episode of Hoarders.  Gadgets, gizmos and doohickies were piled up everyone, with barely a place to stand in the room, and most of it had no apparent function or purpose.  Devere’s detect magic was still active and revealed a magic stick and amulet, which he subtly alerted the group to.  He then went out of the room to engage Dabbledob in distracting conversation while the party searched the room for monsters and Bilba subtly pocketed the two items.  Nothing else of interest was found in the treasury after spending a few minutes poking around.

With one last chamber to check in this area, they asked Dabbledob to escort them.  She explained it was a sleeping chamber and they should keep the noise down.  They looked around and let everyone sleep and moved on back over the bridge to the eastern complex.  Once across the bridge they asked Ulla and Pog where the other passage went and they explained it was just a curved corridor to cope up to the raised alcove they were guarding from.

The party then moved in to the next unexplored room, some sort of storehouse full of barrels.  With paranoia and suspicion running rampant, the group took up positions ready for action, and then Talindra used an unseen servant to start checking the barrels starting at the north while Ramond checked starting from the south.  As Ramond hid the final barrel with his greatsword the weapon became stuck as if glued to it.  The barrel then opened a previously unseen mouth with huge teeth and everyone sprung in to action.

Devere charged in and hit the living barrel with his mace, which also became stuck.  Melandrach and Araloth decided not to attack it in melee and held back for now.  Bilba, Talindra and Thorovir attacked it at range.  Karson moved forwards, cast his hunter mark on to it and then found himself teleported back around the corner to near Ulla and Pog.  He was able to move back up to the corner and fire an arrow at the thing.  The mimic lashed out with pseudopods at Ramond and Devere, missing Devere, bit grappling Ramond, who it then bit in to, its acidic drool doing further damage.  To everyone’s surprise three small rocks dropped off the ceiling on to Karson, Bilba and Thorovir.  These rocks sprouted mouths and feet and tried to bite them and run around on them.  Ramond channelled divinity in to his body and tried to break free, but the mimic is not just grabbing, but extremely sticky, making it too hard for him.  Devere pulled out his holy symbol and a blast of radiant energy went out flooding the room, frying the small mimic attacking Bilba and burning up some of the larger mimic.  He then cast Shield of Faith on Ramond, upping his defences with no side effects.

Across the ceiling lots of little mouths appeared and started to drip and drool acidic saliva on to the group.  Karson, Talindra and Devere got badly burned by this.  Bilba shot at the Mimic, and Araloth stepped up to attack the small one on Karsons back, killing it and luckily not hurting him.  Melandrach rapid fired three Radiant Sun Bolts in to the big guy.  Talindra eldritch blasted it.  Thorvir ignored the small one on him and shot the main target, followed up by a similar shot from Karson.

The mimic lashed out at Devere, whose now unconscious body was also glued to the mimic.  It then hit and bit at Ramond and three more mini-mimics dropped from the ceiling going for Araloth, Melandrach, and Talindra Familiar owl.  Ramond drew his shortsword and channelled all his strength and holy might in to what would likely be his final action and screaming defiance, thrust it furiously at the monster again and again.  As he drew blood he went in to a frenzy and started screaming and stabbing, throwing blood, slime, acid and bits of flesh everywhere, coating himself and Devere thoroughly, leaving nothing but an unrecognisable mess behind where a barrel mimic had once been.  As Ramond carried on stabbing Talindra healed Devere and the party made short work of the remaining junior mimics.

With combat over, and everyone having got their breath back they fetched Facktoré through to show her the threat was ended.  She lost her lunch at the sight of what Ramond had done to the already horrific creature, but was relieved to know it was all over.  They scooped up a mostly intact juvenile mimic and took it over to the King’s chamber.  They were able to talk their way in to the room with promises of having defeated the monster.  After poking the corps a few times Korboz accepted the threat was ended and pulled out a bottle of solvent and dissolved the glue holding his husband to the chair.  With everyone more relaxed, the party explained why they were originally at Gnomegarde and the two kings each produced an item and offered them.  They received a Wand of Pyrotechnics and a Dark Shard Amulet.  Before leaving town the kings also gave them a hamper of supplies as an extra thank you, containing a few days’ worth of green mushroom bread and purple mushroom wine.

The party headed in the direction of the Dwarven Excavation to the west for about an hour before the sun set and they established camp for the night.  Talindra identified the two items Bilba had pocketed as a Pole of Collapsing and Clockwork Amulet.  Devere had returned to his usual colour.  Everyone healed up and got ready for bed.