Weekender XLBS: Opening Up
March 10, 2019 by dignity
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Happy Sunday
I stay up way too late
And you have a better sense of timing than I do… 😛
Same here. Tonight my bad back’s been playing up, what’s your excuse? ?
Happy Sunday!!!
Happy Sunday Backstagers!
Let’s check on the gangs hobby time.
Great show and very informative, mental health does indeed effect 1 in 4 and it’s on the rise. I too suffer from this condition and being a man I have found it very hard to first except and secondly cope with, as it lives along side my day to day life. I wrote a blog post a little while back which I try to explain we are not alone, if you are interested in reading it the link is below https://battlebunkerblog.com/2018/10/05/depression-and-wargaming/ This is a shout out to Justin, please mate I really understand your emotions mate and if you need… Read more »
Are more people actually suffering from mental health issues, or are we as a society getting better at detecting it/confronting it? Eg a hundred years ago what we now call PTSD and recognise as genuine trauma was then blown off as moral cowardice when it was talked about, if it was talked about at all, and such things were swept under the rug and seen as shameful. That stigma still lingers, but we’re getting better at shedding it.
I can think of some now deceased older relatives who might have said “in our day we didn’t have time to feel depressed!”
Sure, but looking back, in a few cases they were clearly effected by something!
Thanks for sharing your story sir.
I know some of those feelings all too well.
You are not alone.
Your welcome
I just wish I knew sooner, then I may have been able to avoid some of the problems I still have.
For me I call it my black dog, some days my black dog is a small puppy all excited. This is when I’m putting on a persona to mask the issue.
Then other days the black dog completely smothers me to a point where it takes over me.
Thanks for the link to your blog post where you open up.
Thanks for sharing there mate
Your welcome @panzerkaput @CoxJul It has been very hard and writing that post was more of me trying to understand it and so it is me talking to myself. All I want is for people who suffer to say “hey your not alone, we are everywhere” and for those who don’t suffer from it to say “I’m sorry if I seem off or I do something out of character. Or, please don’t be afraid to talk to me”. It has been very difficult and still is to accept this condition, but if I can help anyone I will. All you… Read more »
Well @chaingun we are here for you too, remember that
Happy sunday
Happy Sunday Gerry
happy sunday folks!
Happy Sunday Warren
Happy Sunday big man! And Co.
Seriously a great episode, guys. The best in a long time. Definitely a lot of food for thought on this one. Thanks so much for everything you do.
‘Happy'(?!?)Sunday! Maybe?
Given the part 2 subject, should we reconsider the word ‘flaw’ in your discussion over Justin’s model. Sure, after a traumatic change you might expect some different characteristics some of which might be seen by many as not ideal. These might be physical or mental – but to call them a ‘flaw’ sounds judgemental. OK, I know it’s only a fictional backstory for a ludicrously preposterous world of boltgun fodder and I’m over-reacting a bit; but it’s interesting how we drop into a use of language that if you were using it to describe a real person who has survived… Read more »
Absolutely 🙂
But I’d like all members to remember that language is a blunt tool that we all have various levels of skill at wielding.
I think it would be a good place to let folk do their best with the language and so long as we get the context then focus on that.
Otherwise we’ll all end up only in scripted type conversations.
Again though your point comes across loud and clear 🙂
I, strangely, like the term flaw.
After all, isn’t it the flaw in the diamond that makes it beautiful – asking for a friend 😉
And in the context of trying to make a perfect primarius flaw would be entirely accurate
OK – maybe I was a bit tense and defensive at the start of the show not knowing where it would be going. In the mind of someone else the subject’s flaw might be “they’re unreliable and don’t attend club or rpg sessions regularly’. That’s how an issue might be manifested, but it’s not the real issue.
I still prefer ‘personal trait’ or ‘characteristic’, especially when used as a narrative device. As long as it’s not presented as a stereotyped simplification of more complex realities for many, like that card in a game that cropped up a while back.
Thanks chaps, very valuable show! Thanks for opening up… even what Justin said counts in that regard by publicly sharing the fact that an issue exists. (@dignity – May that significant step release you buddy!) If the show leads to the same outcome for one person that a Robbie Vincent call-in radio show had for me 30 years ago its invaluable… Let’s just say I’m still here! I used to feel overly awkward about hugs, especially man hugs, but I’m starting to appreciate them when I need them and getting better at offering them when I can see they’re needed…… Read more »
OK – this show has clearly hit a nerve with me right now after a tough year. Physical injuries and complications in the last 12 month have constrained my activities including my ability to go or a healthy walk or attend social activities such as gaming club; this is turn has been having a negative impact on my already fragile mental health. This show has stirred up some energy that I’m determined to harness. For those of you unfamiliar, or not sure what to look out for at work or down the club, here’s a useful list my daughter shared… Read more »
It’s a shame I can’t upvote this more than once.
I recognise myself sooo many times on that list.
Thanks for sharing that, I found it very helpful.
I can certainly share in most of those symptoms @CoxJul.
If you want to talk, please don’t hesitate mate, I don’t have the answers but we can find them out together.
I have 9 of those going right now… and the eating and the sleeping ones come and go… so 11 total off that list… though I have countered many of them with work, hobby and forced socializing… last night I ran an RPG, today I finished a painting project… I have a website and posted a blog today, and I have school work and reading to accomplish… but yeah that whole list is pretty much my life.
“Forced socialization” is a big one for me. My mother and my therapist basically make sure i get out of the house at least once a week (my therapist would like it to be more often). lol
When you open the front of the Dreadnaught Is that a SIM Card you can see?
Gerry talks about using rules for a few models and the system gets screwed if you increase the figure count. Isn’t this what happened to Rogue Trader in the first place? RT was from looking at it as a 20-30 figure a side game that became a tad unwieldy as you put more and more figures on the table.
exactly and it’s happening again. I think we see it in a lot of games. The designer writes them for a certain scale, or should I say size of force. Then people play and enjoy it and immediately think “I’d love to play bigger games” eventually they’re unplayable. Instead people should be looking for a new rule set to play the bigger game of whatever, but they sometimes get stuck in a bubble of what the game “needs” to be.
I guarantee you that next edition of 40k is going to look a heck of a lot like Kill Team. It bridges the gap.. you still move all your stuff,but then so do i… and you don’t always move first you have to roll off every turn.
Bloody Hell .. you 4 are the bravest guys on the planet .. Well done to you all and more power to ya !!!!
Well, I never thought that an XLBS would have me crying….But this one has. Thanks for sharing your stories gents. Everyone has a story you haven’t heard, all you have to do is listen. The first time I can remember hearing “You are not alone” was from my Financial Adviser. For me it has two meanings: You are not the only one going through this, so it is a part of people’s lives You have friends that you can talk to, and if you do, you might find that they open up to you. But you have to listen, and… Read more »
Wonderful and wise words <3
Thanks.
Heavy episode this week, but worth it; as Mel says at the end, if it only helps one person that’s a good thing and it’s time you guys have spent well. Going back to something else he said which ties into this, Mel mentioned talking about this issue being cathartic, and ill add listening to you guys talking about it is also cathartic. I’ll second the comment you guys made about talking to your GP and that your GP won’t tell others about it; a few months back I went for a course of counselling sessions (probably the same thing… Read more »
Having been to various forms of counselling, on and off, over a period of nearly 30 years, the two best I have found were the first and the current counsellors. There were four or five in-between.
Those two counsellors I view as “professional friends”. I personally need to hear a part of their stories to be able to fully share mine. It helps form a connection.
The best counsellors are often those who’ve personally experienced a similar journey; covering that is sometimes part of their training.
Not that I want to knock well-intentioned do-gooders, but sometimes you can feel the difference between empathy and sympathy when you know there’s a shared vulnerability there helping a bond.
Mate, I’ve been there too! You know where I am if you need a real pat on the back!
Thanks mate. 🙂
@warzan in all fairness the fluff in Vigilus Defiant has had Calgar not engaging in much direct combat due to still being weak from the Rubicon Primaris procedure, a process that did leave him technically dead on the operating table for a considerable period. As for flaws, well Calgar is still suffering (as Justin notes) a bit of inadequacy since Bobby G returned and took back command of the Ultramarines, reinstating the 500 worlds of Ultramar; The Blood Angels Primaris have not yet suffered the Black Rage but several units have been identified as having shown signs of the Red… Read more »
I’m now imaging what would happen to the Ultramarines if Bobby Gillespie of Primal Scream was in command of them…
Good show, good show. A very important topic.
My best wishes to all of you, on show and in the community!
I think I am probably in the same situation as Warren’s wife. My own partner is not well in a more physical sense than any mental issues although there is anxiety and depression as she is now limited in what she can achieve physically What this means is that I am stressed with having to almost do everything and sometimes is does get on top of me and I find it hard sometimes not to resent her and situation we are in even though it’s no fault of hers Luckily I work for the Govt that allows me days off… Read more »
Yes it’s never far from my mind mate. We made some changes at the start of the year when andrea was offered a job back in special needs teaching. She’s been running the home and raising us for the past 8 years and this opportunity came up a little earlier than expected (wee Jack is only one year old) But it was a chance to try somthing new and give her the opportunity to do productive adult stuff. So my mornings are now spent managing emails etc with a lovely wee man on my knee lol It’s certainly a bit… Read more »
Good on here…… it is a rewarding career as I well know ….
Thanks for your honesty in this episode. It has really touched a nerve in me as I have suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life. I am 54 and I am still unable to cope with life. Watching this has really got me thinking (not always a good thing) and I want to tell my story both here in this community and to a proffessional, I need to move on. Unfortunately I have to get ready for work now, it is going to be a tough one as I am now feeling very emotionally vulnerable. Will be… Read more »
You are not alone.
I certainly will be here to hear when you are ready.
Take care today mate.
See you later on!
As is so oft repeated, You are NOT alone. Reach out to someone. You will be stronger.
Oh well I made it through work today, with this mornings XLBS never far from my thoughts. So happy to see that Justin has been able to share his thoughts and his story with Warzan and Mel, I too have had problems being able to talk about my feelings and am going to write down some of my thoughts and my story here. So much of what Warzan shared hit a raw nerve with me as I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for most of my life. As a child was always a bit of a loner and… Read more »
I know there was so much more I wanted to say but perhaps that will best be saved for the professionals……
Thanks for sharing your story @elysium64. Ramble away any time you care to as far as I’m concerned. You are not alone. I recognised parts of myself an number of times in your story. Part of the way I cope with things is to find something I can laugh at everyday – I’ve built up a number of YouTube creators that can do this for me. I also find that I need to cry on occasion and find YouTube clips of Talent shows, especially the musical ones, can do that for me. Whether it be the voice of the person… Read more »
Haha I also cry during cheesy talent shows mainly voice and x factor. You have uncovered my guilty secret…
I like things like 8 out of 10 Cats, Black Adder, 0
I have been working on some scenery for my SLA project as therapy tonight about to update with photos after this with photos next.
Thanks for all the comment and likes
I will update once been to doctors.
While I was seeing one of the GPs at my local practice about one of my physical health matters she’d clearly picked up on something and started showing concern (welcomed). “Are you able to find joy in things?” she asked. Wow! of all the questions I’ve had about such matters that one blew me away. Yes was my reply, and I thought aout those positive things there and then and continued to do so for a while. Still am, and that includes getting to catch up with BoW/OTT episodes and articles. I soon realised that thinking about answers to that… Read more »
Powerful words there.
Guys, thanks for this episode of the Backstager, Happy Sunday. I also struggle depressions from time to time, I´ve learned about them and how to live with them. I do isolate myself some times, as I lost my job many years ago I thought about jumping in front of a car because of the depressions. I´ve talked to people about that, it was a hard time to go through, but now I have a new job, a better one then the one I lost. My wife keeps me up with her funny being, we have bought a house and now… Read more »
You communicated it perfectly mate thanks for sharing 🙂
This doesn’t feel like the day for a long comment but just to say well done and thank you for broaching this topic and doing it so openly. I hope backstage is a safe environment to do so. Now I wonder how we can approach supporting the whole community – it is of course entirely your prerogative whether you’d be open to sharing this video frontstage (maybe on national health awareness weeks or something). I’d completely get it if not, but I think this is a topic that OTT can be seen to be a positive force in the industry.… Read more »
Marius Leitdorf rules. He’s a mix of Da Vinci, Hannibal, some Napoleon, Frederick the Great and just a sprinkling of Alexander dumped in a vat of Caligula. Any Character without flaws is worse than boring and anything that’s done in fluff to zero effect without a good journey is just as bad. It’s ok to not achieve anything so long as you really entertain people along the way. @warzan you should try “Force on Force” even if you take it into a Sci-Fi setting. Just have Marines (Guardsmen would be Better) vs Cultists (or other riff raff) rather than US… Read more »
Marius Leitdorf for Emperor!
The Force on Force Classified expansion has a Predator based scenario to bring things full circle 😉
Wouldn’t Armies Legions and Hordes help Gerry with planning etc. ???
oh I plan… and then it goes out the window 🙂
What I need to do is pack everything else away first so I can’t start anything else
I struggle with that too Gerry…. I really enjoy the planning, it’s the execution of the plan I have trouble with.
Especially as I’m somewhat of a perfectionist and worry about cocking things up.
aye, more than one mini/squad or even army has been stripped back and started over because of the outcome I wasn’t happy with.
I have to clear my work area regularly too. I have figures from Kickstater games in man cupboard (all the space the boss allows me, apart from the crammed shelves in the spare bedroom for the actual games) that if I am not careful I’ll forget which game they belong to. I backed Armies, Legions etc, so have a nice shiny copy in the slip case with the first names of my grandchildren listed in the supporters pages, my problem is fitting in the reading, as like Gerry I start with a book on Roman legions then on Caesar then… Read more »
My plan for tomorrow is now to tidy my painting desk.
This without doubt has been the hardest XLBS you have done and the best episode ever entered to the community. I was able to show this to my family and they now know it’s not just us that have problems, many of us have issues and it’s not just combat that causes it. It was for me, but for the family it’s the lost of the person they had before it. I am so happy you used the platform you have to let the greater world know the issues that we all experience in our lives and that community is… Read more »
Happy Sunday folks. Mr Calgar has a very serious flaw these days… He can no longer fit inside his own Land Raider! Serious stuff! I think this was a really lovely episode to have to be honest. It is very eye opening to me, I’m not struggling (that I know of) with serious things in life, I have a few minor little things that have happened over time and I have my mechanisms that let me deal with them perhaps at a detriment to myself at times. I commend you all for sharing, and I think this will evoke a… Read more »
Properly the most thought provoking discussion I have heard in many years. First and foremost to Justin, Warren, Gerry and Mel. You guys have made a big impact in many peoples lives (mine included), Bless you all. I have also suffered from depression due to a severe physical skin illness I suffered from for over 11 years. It took several years to rediscover the courage to start interacting with others again. A few years ago I suffered a relapse due to a family issue and it has only been the last few months that I feel able to fully deal… Read more »