@robert – FIRST! You massive geek. 10pts. Geeks rule and geek girls even more! Do you have nother better to do?

So, you still have a few Germans left to finish. Pictures? Ze Germans dropped a 1000lb bomb in my Auntie Kitty’s garden. When the UXB squad arrived they dug up her garden so they could sort it out. My grandmother, her best friend, said she was fizzing like a wasp in a jar about that. If my memory is right then her exact works were, “You can keep the bloody bomb and shove it up your arse, but were are my spuds?” I image the officer-in-charge had saute potatoes that night.

Are they for FoW or do you play a decent game?

1. I didn’t even know there was a TV series of Catch-22. The film is brilliant. You must read the book when you have finished watching the series. Without fail. What kind of world is this where you have read loads about the book, but not the actual book? Darren said I should have gone back to Scotia…5pts for at least reading.

I am halfway through ‘The Invisible Man’ after listening to a radio programme about HGW. I haven’t read it for at least ten years so why not. In the bath I have been reading my “hospital book”. This the the book that is always in my emergency back-pack for all of my unplanned days-out. It is the best book I have ever read. It is called “I am a stranger here myself” by Ian Pattinson and is the life-story of Rab C. Nesbitt. Amazing book – even better than ‘Heart of Darkness’.

2. What about Golf? Bloody stupid sport anyway…all sports are stupid and pointless. Bells and whistles for the hard of thinking. The pinacle of pointlessness is football! 5pts for your weeks work or £300000 if you are a brainless potato-head with a taste for curb-crawling for a chug.

Is it golf ‘season’ or some reasonless competition of corporate promotions? Leave it to the dicks who would “ruin a good walk” rather than take in the nature all about them. Anyway, have you seen the way they dress? Fair enough, I used to wear a cloak and a top-hat when I was 14-15, but at least I didn’t look like a golfer. Tell me more.

3. Envy is growing. 10pts. I wanted to attend the Infinity BC a while ago, but couldn’t make it. Another time. When is your birthday? Mine is quite close as is my parents wedding anniversary. How old?

You need to have children at some point. They are so tasty! 5pts or 5yrs – i’m not sure which. I never had any intention of having children. Never went babysitting and I have no siblings. However, Heather is very ‘motherly’ and it was just the right think to do. They were both planned too. They are a pain in the arse when they get to 6-10, but it is worse later. They develop expensive tastes. However, the plus side is that if you raise them in the correct way they will shower you will love and minis when they get a good job! For father’s day Eve and Jamie bought me a portable spray booth. Conditioning rules.

Girls are worse than boys. Especially for fathers. There really is a Daddy-Daughter thing. Daughters know this and it is good experience for controlling boyfriends later in life. They also know that they can ask to borrow £3000 to buy a car and you won’t say “no!” Well trained children also pay it back.

I am not fan of hot weather or bright sunshine. Dracula gets more sunlight than me. I don’t mind sitting in the garden and watching the cats chasing bugs, but it has to be in the shade. If you have the amount of forehead that I have then you need the shade. 5pts.

Where are you travelling from to get to Ireland?

3. A PhD in physics is very sexy indeed. I was chatted up by a theology lecturer when I was an young undergraduate. She wanted to take me to Mexico to do “some research”. I was also sort of propositioned by another lecturer. I didn’t like his book though. 5pts.

Smoking? Urrrgh. The vilest thing ever.

I had my first ‘holiday romance’ during the week leading up to my 13th birthday. We were coming back down the coast from the west of Scotland, with our caravan, and we would take a week just stopping and exploring for a night-or-two. We stopped at a place called Dunbar, just over the Scottish border if you want to look it up. It was just a tiny spot behind a hotel, but it was a great place.

We met a family from Fife, Burntisland to be exact, and the that was it. If anyone is from up there do you know Pauline Brand? We held hands and I even put my arm around her. That was a scary move. You would of thought I had to defuse Kitty’s bomb by the amout of sweat I was producing.

My first ‘real’ girlfriend was really stunning. She had a smile that could make you forget where you were. To ask her out I wrote her a letter and delivered it by hand at 0430hrs in the morning. I got the letter through the slot without a peep, but as it hit the floor it also hit a massive Labrador called Honey. That dog could bark! I could also run.

5. Does that mean you were sacked or couldn’t take their shit anymore? 10pts if it does. I am sort of glad I am retired. We have spent the last few months doing some ‘downsizing’. We had some houses we rented out, but come the end of the last tax year we got rid of them.

What are your plans for the future? What do you want to do?

6. I suppose a size change is the same thing. 5pts. I only started using 15mm minis in the last couple of years, but haven’t gotten too far yet. How much I can do depends on how I am feeling.

Ragnarok are from Sweden I think. You might be right thought. A good band from close to Newcastle is Cathedral. They are from Berwick, but don’t hold that against them.